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The Catastrophic Caterer was first published on Theatre Follies March 17, 2008.
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A look behind the scenes posted October 2010Working in tall buildings often brings about a kind of ennui
that demands some kind of adventure the task at hand usually doesn't provide
Matt had been doing this for some time, cooking up an improbable hero he called the Khaki Avenger. He envisioned a good looking, fit, but otherwise ordinary guy, not unlike himself, who worked as a software engineer, one of many in a hive of sameness. After hours and after his regular workout, Kevin McGruder would turn into an urban super hero, the Khaki Avenger, who righted the wrongs created by manipulating bosses and moguls in the business world. Matt would drop by my desk very briefly to mutter about the latest Kevin tidbit, looking around carefully to be sure no one was listening. I would write it down. We emailed back and forth, building and building the ideas and jokes and scenarios and I could imagine that he could hear me cackling at the latest improbability and improbable characters Kevin McGruder would find himself immersed in today. This grew into a writing exercise for me, a way to practice turning ideas into a cohesive and satiric story. Matt and I both left the tall building and our jobs, lost touch, but I kept at it and finally turned his tidbits into The Catastrophic Caterer.
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Snippets of our emails posted October 2010(with apologies to my friend, Matt Hawkins (The Hawk)) To: Hawkins, Matthew Subject: RE: possible plot outline for episode 2
This is what we need! It's the softer side of the ka - km in love. And the art venue is a good change from
-----Original Message----- From: Hawkins, Matthew Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2003 1:52 PM To: 'wordwiz44@aol.com' Cc: Turner, Mary Subject: possible plot outline for episode 2
Joe aka Jock aka Turnstile aka Placeware Pete As you are vacationing in Maryland, here are is the plot outline I have in mind for episode 2 of KA abbreviations KA-khaki avenger KM-kevin mcgruder DM-Danielle morgan sr-sabrina ramirez ls-leopold smuckers who is really ss=the snide sculptor scene 1- dm and km are working out at lunch, jogging on adjacent treadmills, dm is lamenting the lack of good guys scene 2-km is at home, late at night, kicking himself missing another opportunity to ask dm out, logs on to cutiesforka.com and finds some solace scene 3-ss breaks in to a fancy jewelry boutique, purloins some expensive merchandise, and leaves a taunting sculpture scene 4-km is at work reading the Technolpolis Times online account of another robbery committed by SS, DM comes in chirping and announcing to everybody that she has met somebody great, km's heart sinks and feigns support and congrats, dm invites the gang to LS (the guy she has met) new gallery opening scene 5-ka and sr meet at their usual place and discuss the SS case, their usual biplay ensues scene 6-dm and km are at the art gallery, dm tells him that she thinks she is in love, and that she was foolish to kell km that romance would never work, dm introduces ls to gang (KM, dirk prescott, jane topper). ls rubs km wrong way, km then is stunned, when, upon, the unveiling , he sees something in the sculptures that reminds him of the evidence he discussed with SR scene 7-dm and ls are at ls' cool pad after the soiree is completed, dm congratulates him for the success, ls feeds dm a line of romantic crap, the two begin making out scene 8-at km's apt, km agonizes over what to do, he can't confront dm, but he doesn't want her to get hurt either, does he make an anonymous tip to the police, or to the press? scene 9-ka meets with sr again, they agree that sr should put surveillance on ls scene 10-sr is surveilling ls, she follows him in his SS disguise to an art gallery, she catches him in the act, however, SS is quite adept at hand to hand combat, he easily subdues SR scene 11-as SS is making his escape, KA appears, they talk some trash and begin fighting, they both get in some good licks, but eventually KA gains the other hand, and pummels SS. taking his frustration out for DM scene 12-km is consoling dm who is desolate, she is at her wit's end regarding men and romance, km feels terrible for her, but he also knows he did the right thing, dmalso chides KA calling just as much a criminal as SS/LS again, this just a basic outline-thoughts, suggestions, critique? gracias [Turner, Mary] LS is from Belgian royalty. We find this out when DM introduces him at the gallery. Krank: Where is the KA now that we need him? These effete artsy type, that GD metrosexual, takin' all the good chicks... Fight scene is violent. DM: “What kind of monster would send him to the hospital?” Matt Hawkins Applications Specialist
From: Hawkins, Matthew Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 3:13 PM To: Turner, Mary Subject: random thoughts for KA project Episode 2-the villain will be the Snide Sculptor aka Leopold Smuckers, play up Danielle falling for Leopold, Kevin feeling quite bummed, doubts himself, watch the Khaki Avenger (KA) absolutely take frustration out on the Sculptor in bone crunching fight sequence Episode 3-i am thinking this villain will be Mr. Shady-I want this episode to be an ode to noir-I want all of the main protagonists (with the exception of Dirk who is blissfully ignorant) to be very introspective towards the negative aspects of their lives: KA is confronting a very powerful villain and is wondering can he stop this guy, Sabrina is really deep cover and is wondering if this is a death wish to cover for her pangs towards KA-she is realizing her feelings toward him are not just lust but love, Danielle is despondent since the Leopold case and is sworn off romance, and Kevin is torn between Danielle and Sabrina Episode 4- I want this to be the most politically incorrect episode, the villain will be captain chloro-but I have decided to make her a female ( her real identity Dr. Patricia Hogan), I also want to introduce the ElecPub as a hot 80's retro bar and I want to tap into the animosity between Dirk and Kevin in a scene at the bar Episode 5- the villain for this episode will be Sweet Shot aka Eddie Carpenter a pudgy 20 something sugar addicted wuss of a man who is the heir to the Carpenter Confections Company fortune, a booming online candy store, this scene will feature KA and Sabrina getting it on, Danielle starting to realize that Kevin might be attractive, and Topper almost having a nervous breakdown. From: mary turner [mailto:mhawkins1@cfl.rr.com] Sent: Saturday, February 01, 2003 1:14 PM To: matthew.hawkins@aurumtechnology.com Subject: Scenes 3 and 4 Scene 3 As Kevin sat quietly at his cubicle, he noted the chaos around him. Baileywick and Jane were scurrying around frantically trying to get everything and everyone squared away before the police arrived Kevin clicked his way to one of the local news station's websites and read the emergency bulletin. The facts were this: the Messinas were lying in a hospital morgue, several other people were hospitalized, the Technopolis Police Department promised a thorough investigation and they were not ruling out foul play, Lucy Brightbite's career was in serious jeopardy, and the Italian government was screaming. Despite the tragedy, Kevin smiled to himself looking at Dirk's panicked face. The usually smug bastard and his equally arrogant parents were mortified that such a catastrophe could occur on their precious ship. Dirk's tan face had suddenly turned pale, but Kevin's amusement was dulled by the fact that his instinct knew that foulplay had been committed on board the yacht. The Khaki avenger would be needed now. "McGruder! Get to work!" shouted Baileywick halfway across the room. "Those Navy specs better be in my office by 3 sharp or you will be collecting unemployment!" Kevin gave him an affirming glance and started to finish the day's drudgery. Yet, his mind was already thinking about the meeting he would have to set up soon with his only ally in his ridiculous city. A he made his way to the rendezvous, the Khaki avenger's mind was racing. 3 days had passed since the incident, and the police, despite numerous interviews and tests, were as clueless as they had ever been. The media was not going to let this thing die quietly, especially, the Krank, who took much delight in seeing the rich and famous squirm. As usual, KA was the first one to arrive at the meeting place-a small, abandoned clothing store. Probably crushed by one of Marshall Prescott's high end shops. "Hi there, handsome" exclaimed a voice from the dark. KA's ears perked as his friend gracefully walked into the light. Scene 4 "Hi, beautiful," replied KA. This Bacall-Bogart banter always made them feel less serious than they really were. For Sabrina, though, there was nothing but genuine attraction behind the words. "So, how are the Keystone Cops handling this whole Catastrophic Catering affair, Detective?" Sabrina, half-wincing, half-smirking at the Krank's nickname for the situation, could only shake her head. "Well, officially, my superiors are ready to label this as a pure accident. The lab tests have not been able to detect any toxins, and Lord knows, the boys in the lab have run every conceivable test. It looks like this case is closed" KA studied her face for a moment, knowing she wanted to be prompted for something more. They were kindred spirits, outsiders, rebels, out of place in this city of conformity. "Ok, now what's the best looking investigator in all of Technopolis think?" Sabrina's bright smile appeared for a flicker and then she quickly caught herself. After all, KA was the only person who ever wanted to hear her opinions on a case. Her dense and chauvinistic colleagues and superiors were obtuse as ever. "Something does not add up with Brightbite's staff. Especially, her number one assistant, Sandy Bartoni. I don't have proof, but my gut is never wrong, you know that, but she stinks, and so do the staff members." "What about Brightbite?" KA inquired. "No way. She is way too concerned about her reputation with the rich and famous to do this. Believe it or not, she is genuinely distraught." "So, your money's on Bartoni-why, Sabrina?" "I can tell her and her staff really despise Brightbite. From what I have heard about ol' Lucy, I can't say I blame them. There is something else you should know about her-she is the romantic interest of your old buddy, Peter Mordecai" KA's stomach churned as Sabrina delivered this news. Mordecai was KA's most formidable enemy. He had used his prestige and power as Chairman of Galctron Industries to perpetrate several crimes. KA, although able to stop most of them, was never able to implicate Mordecai directly. He owned politicians and policeman, and no one dare try to arrest this corporate despot. Sabrina, sensing KA's alarm, added her theory. "Look, here is my two cents. Bartoni hates Brightbite. Mordecai has a pathological hatred for Prescott. What better way to ruin Brightbite and severely embarrass Prescott by pulling this off. Rumors are, Brightbite is going to have to sell her company, for a drastically reeuced price. I am sure Petey would have no problem floating the cash to his gal to buy it. Everybody wins." "He has to be stopped, Sabrina. He is starting to branch off to murder. Since the police won't get their hands dirty, I will."
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